I admit to doing a couple of (wrong) things at times. Mornings have always been really bad for me. Two days ago, whilst rushing to send Zarif to kindergarten - it was already almost recess when I sent him to kindy - I just lugged the kids in the car and since the distance from my mom's house (where I am currently staying) aint that far from his kindy, I thought I'd just lugged them in the car without buckling them up. That is my MISTAKE numero uno.
Zarif got to kindy alright. From there I proceeded to Ibu's place to drop Nina off. Knowing how Ibu hates me sending her sooo late (it disrupts her morning schedule), I rushed to send Nina to Ibu's house. What do you know? Nina's aint buckled up in her car seat either and had asked me for a sip of my Nescafe Mocha. (MISTAKE number two - giving them coffee when their kidneys prolly cant even digest caffeine yet..and MISTAKE number three - for actually compromising my driving skills to give her coffee whilst maneuvering (spelling?) the car..)
So there I was whilst handling the car and giving her a sip of my cold Nescafe, she decides to back off a bit, causing the coffee to spill unto my handbag and unto the floor of the car. I scream. (MISTAKE number four - yelling at a toddler for your inefficiencies).
Whilst waiting for the traffic light near Ibu's house to change to green, I yelled at her to grab some tissue papers (tissue box was at the back of the car) and shaken at being scolded at, she refused to. I searched the insides of my handbag for remnants of old tissue paper and used them up to soak up the coffee, which had so nicely stain my handbag and make my car smell of nescafe. Oh dear me. What have I done?
The traffic light changed to green and I gained a little bit of my composure. That same freaking time, my mind says I have to sms Mr Sia and tell him where I am. (since I was also late getting into the agency..) (MISTAKE number five - sms-ing whilst driving).
So whilst text-ing the guy with 1 hand and another hand on the wheel, I made my way up the hill to Ibu's. Guess what? Nina decides to fall forward, when we're going downhill.. All coz of my stupidity at NOT BUCKLING HER UP. She falls forward (near where the handbrake is..) and hurts her chest and starts crying. (MISTAKE number six - a repeat of MISTAKE numero uno)
I signalled to the left and immediately stopped at the side of the road (and before stopping hit a curb).. and this is the bit which I REGRET DOING THE MOST! I SCREAMED AND SCREAMED although knowing that all these were NONE of my children's wrongdoings. (MISTAKE number freaking seven). (How many MISTAKES can 1 make in the span of an hour??)
I KNEW THAT I WAS ACTUALLY SCREAMING AT THE FACT THAT I WAS A FOOKING USELESS MOTHER. I immediately took Nina into my embrace and hugged and kissed her and said 'Mommy's sorry' countless of times.
On the way driving to the Agency's, I was just thinking: HOW CAN I BE SO FREAKING SELFISH and PUT MY NEEDS AHEAD OF THAT OF MY CHILDREN'S??
I vowed with that incident that day to plan my days better and to ALWAYS ALWAYS BUCKLE UP MY CHILDREN at WHATEVER COST. I will also NOT USE THE HANDPHONE ESPECIALLY WHEN MY CHILDREN ARE IN THE CAR. EVER.
"Please God, please make me a Good Mother to my children. Please bless me with patience, wisdom and courage and make me a better mom to my children with each passing day. Please also protect my litle family at all times."
To my beloved Zarif and Nina - Mommy's really sorry. Mommy wont do this again.
Zarif got to kindy alright. From there I proceeded to Ibu's place to drop Nina off. Knowing how Ibu hates me sending her sooo late (it disrupts her morning schedule), I rushed to send Nina to Ibu's house. What do you know? Nina's aint buckled up in her car seat either and had asked me for a sip of my Nescafe Mocha. (MISTAKE number two - giving them coffee when their kidneys prolly cant even digest caffeine yet..and MISTAKE number three - for actually compromising my driving skills to give her coffee whilst maneuvering (spelling?) the car..)
So there I was whilst handling the car and giving her a sip of my cold Nescafe, she decides to back off a bit, causing the coffee to spill unto my handbag and unto the floor of the car. I scream. (MISTAKE number four - yelling at a toddler for your inefficiencies).
Whilst waiting for the traffic light near Ibu's house to change to green, I yelled at her to grab some tissue papers (tissue box was at the back of the car) and shaken at being scolded at, she refused to. I searched the insides of my handbag for remnants of old tissue paper and used them up to soak up the coffee, which had so nicely stain my handbag and make my car smell of nescafe. Oh dear me. What have I done?
The traffic light changed to green and I gained a little bit of my composure. That same freaking time, my mind says I have to sms Mr Sia and tell him where I am. (since I was also late getting into the agency..) (MISTAKE number five - sms-ing whilst driving).
So whilst text-ing the guy with 1 hand and another hand on the wheel, I made my way up the hill to Ibu's. Guess what? Nina decides to fall forward, when we're going downhill.. All coz of my stupidity at NOT BUCKLING HER UP. She falls forward (near where the handbrake is..) and hurts her chest and starts crying. (MISTAKE number six - a repeat of MISTAKE numero uno)
I signalled to the left and immediately stopped at the side of the road (and before stopping hit a curb).. and this is the bit which I REGRET DOING THE MOST! I SCREAMED AND SCREAMED although knowing that all these were NONE of my children's wrongdoings. (MISTAKE number freaking seven). (How many MISTAKES can 1 make in the span of an hour??)
I KNEW THAT I WAS ACTUALLY SCREAMING AT THE FACT THAT I WAS A FOOKING USELESS MOTHER. I immediately took Nina into my embrace and hugged and kissed her and said 'Mommy's sorry' countless of times.
On the way driving to the Agency's, I was just thinking: HOW CAN I BE SO FREAKING SELFISH and PUT MY NEEDS AHEAD OF THAT OF MY CHILDREN'S??
I vowed with that incident that day to plan my days better and to ALWAYS ALWAYS BUCKLE UP MY CHILDREN at WHATEVER COST. I will also NOT USE THE HANDPHONE ESPECIALLY WHEN MY CHILDREN ARE IN THE CAR. EVER.
"Please God, please make me a Good Mother to my children. Please bless me with patience, wisdom and courage and make me a better mom to my children with each passing day. Please also protect my litle family at all times."
To my beloved Zarif and Nina - Mommy's really sorry. Mommy wont do this again.
3 comments:
Nina - remember this & bring this up whenever ye wants a new doll, dress, perfume, car etc etc (ad infinitum) . . . ah ha ha ha ha
awwww....at least you do say sorry to your kids...you are already teaching them how to appologise...see, all is not lost..heheheh..seeing the brighter side...
salam, blog walking. . . like yr writings
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