1 Syawal 1431H-1432H bersamaan dengan 10 September 2010

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri buat semua kaum muslimin dan muslimat serata dunia.

Sempena bulan yang mulia ini, marilah kita sama-sama mengorak langkah dengan rasa penuh kesyukuran kepada Ilahi serta sama-samalah kita menyucikan hati kita dengan saling maaf-memaafi antara satu sama lain.

Mohon maaf di atas segala salah dan silap - sengaja ataupun tidak. Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

Bloatedness

4 more days to Hari Raya and I dah raya..

Lost about 3kgs when we first started Ramadhan. And 1st day into my menses today, and I feel as fat as a damn pig! Bleuurrgggh!!!!!

My tummy has never been flat - like ever.. but today it's super duper mega jiggly! My God!
It has bothered me so much today to the point that I bothered googling about it and found out why.

A search says - Prior to menstruation, women lose a bit of their progesterone hormone and when your body senses that there is less progesterone hormone to be broken down, the brain sends a signal to the kidneys to retain sodium and water. At the same time, an anti-diuretic hormone is released which then causes more water to be retained. So water retained in the body = bloatedness = friggin weight gain! Damnit!

And ironically - to get rid of water retention, one needs to drink a lot more water. I hope this passes soon enough, coz I have my raya attire to get into in 4 days time!

Disturbia

Today I am feeling rather disturbed. Am worried about a lot of things. So maybe writing it down would be a good idea. (Or not?)

Hmm - for starters - My bedroom at my parent's place is awfully messy. I havent been able to really organise my bedroom since I've had to switch bedrooms with my youngest sis Didi. I've lived downstairs in the supposed guest room ever since I had to come and live with my parents again, after Edy started work in Kelantan earlier this year. And that room aint big - and whenever Edy comes back, it's 3 persons (Papa, Abang and Kakak) sleeping on the bed and Baby Soraya and I will be on the mattress on the floor. So yeah, we shifted upstairs and I havent really settled in properly yet. I guess I'll just have to do it and tackle one thing at a time, I guess.

2. Packing for Raya

Now this one relates with the point above. Coz I cant really pack if I havent really sorted out the pile of clothes that's in one corner of my bedroom, right? My kids have been wearing mismatched clothes the whole week last week and they still are today! So yes, I really need to sit down and spend a couple of hours just folding the clothes and sorting them out properly so that I can decide what to pack to bring back home for Raya. Oh and perhaps I could start with mending Zarif's baju melayu later on tonight, then giving all of the kids new attire a dip in fabric softener and dry them tomorrow. Ironing can take place the night before raya. Oh, and I need to squeeze in a trip back to my house tomorrow to get essentials for Raya (some of my favourite kurungs, handbags, jewelleries and make up) so that I can get going with this packing. Ahh sooo much to do in so little time. No wonder I am so disturbed!

3. Zits on my face

I dont usually get zits on my face anymore - so when a few decided to pop out last week - I decided to take a pick at it. So now it's gotten worse and I dont think I like how it's looking.. But I think it's all stress related?

4. Backache

I have been experiencing really bad back pain these 2 weeks. And I can feel the pain from the very tip of my fingers all the way to the soles of my feet! And I cant sleep, coz it gets really bad. I'm currently on some painkillers but once the medicine subsides, pain keeps coming back. This could seriously affect me this raya!

5. Work & Money

Work has been a bit slow especially after I gave birth to Baby Soraya last April. I havent really gained my momentum and we've already approached the last quarter of the year. I still have a bit more to achieve my target - but now since my raya mode is on, I promise to fight full swing immediately after the 20th September (after my Great Leo Awards Ceremony 2009 in Genting). So since work is slow, so is the money bit lah. Aiyoh. And you know our commitments are still the same. So yes, it is quite tough and I really have to do something about this when I come back after raya.


6. Family Ties

This year aint really a good year in the family. I'd say toughest thus far. We've had to deal with various different issues as a family and there's just so much sarcasm and negative vibes going around in my parent's home, that I am not sure I like it. Trouble is, I cant really move out and live on my own with hubby working outstation and with me managing just the 3 kids alone and without a maid. But not like it makes any difference though. I still have to do a lot of things here on my own coz everyone else living in this house has got their own things to do anyway.. So maybe instead of being sucked into all the negativity here, maybe I should just try living on my own? Maybe? Should I? Hmm.. I really need to sit and ponder on this soon.

7. Issues with Spouse

I am having mixed feelings. I am not sure if I am being cheated on yet again. Frust giler lah if he's still at it - that's all that I can say. And maybe just this time - I should seriously take action.


8. Worrying about my Kids

Zarif - I aint sure if he can properly read or not. And since he's entering primary school next year - yes, I worry for him. Will he be able to understand his class work? He is also glued on to his Sony PSP (my fault really for getting him one..)and he behaves like a cheeky monkey every time we bring him out anywhere. I really need to do something before he gets out of control. We've lost track of his whereabouts countless times! Oh and yes, he's got a runny nose like every day and so he doesnt breathe properly and a recent check up at the GP indicated that he needed to go and see an ENT specialist - coz apparently there's a blockage up his nose? Something about Nasal Polyps?

Nina - how can I get her to cooperate with me. She's one heck of a diva (not sure who she takes after.. Hehe) and seems proud to act that way too. I need her to mellow down a bit and listen to Mommy.

Soraya - not much problems at this stage. She's only 5 months old. Cuma a lot of guilt on my side for not being able to breastfeed her anymore. My milk supply has dwindled so badly so now she's fully on formula. Only managed to fully breastfeed her until she was about 4 months old. Kesian dia. She's generally ok - cuma I think I am sooo stressed with a lot of other things that I may not be connecting with her as effectively as I should? I need to find the time to stimulate her mind properly. Aiyaiyai..

*Sigh*

I dunno whether talking about it here now has made things any better as I now feel even worse than before I started writing. Damn! I better start doing something about it physically than blabbering about it nonstop and still get nothing down, right? So adios!