Losing my voice..

I have been sick since about a week ago. I've gone to see the same doctor twice and gotten 2 MCs week after week, but I still have not fully recovered from my bout of sickness. What I have now is a super sultry and soulful voice. Now, whenever I speak it sounds more like of a whisper than anything else. And today I was googling and discovered that I just might have laryngitis - which is what the medical experts refer to as hoarseness or losing of voice. So that might be it - maybe my voice aint super sultry and soulful, after all. It is just plan hoarse.

On one spectrum - losing your voice (temporarily, that is) can be good. Coz then you need not have to say much in meetings as well as not having to shout at your children etc. But my phone in the office still rings you see, and I am finding that I can't answer my calls properly.

Hmm.. that said - Maybe it WAS a blessing that I spilled water unto my hubby's spare handphone (which I was using coz my own handphone pun dah tamat riwayat) and shortcircuited it yesterday coz I guess, with laryngitis - there is no point of even communicating via phone, right? So i think the spilling of water was actually doing me more of a favour?? I dunno.

But that said, it is difficult not being able to speak and having to get your colleagues to receive your calls on your behalf and making them call others for you. I cant imagine what losing your voice permanently is like when losing it temporarily also spells out too much trouble. Let's hope that this laryngitis wont last long, as I read that it usually clears up within a week to ten days with or without medication. So in the meantine, I think I will just try to speak a lot less and rest my vocal chords and sip on more soothing Asam Jawa, Honey and Lemon drinks.

Daniel Craig *Drool*....

OMG - I think this guy is awesome!! He is in my opinion, the sexiest and best Bond ever. *Drool, drool* :P To be honest, I never really noticed him in other movies before, until he played the 007 agent in Casino Royale. Even when they were showing Casino Royale on HBO - I never really paid attention to him, until I finally just decided to sit down and follow the movie. Needless to say, I immediately thought he was cool and started noticing him in other supporting roles in other movies as well too. Ahh, just look at the pix attached. *Sigh* Enough said. :))

Autism & Asperger's Syndrome Seminar

Hey there - am blogging about this to help garner support for this seminar my college is organising - in case anyone is interested. Details are as below:

AUTISM & ASPERGER'S SYNDROME SEMINAR

Nilai University College (Nilai UC) together with the Faculty of Allied Health Sciences UKM is organising a seminar featuring updates on high functioning autism and asperger's syndrome.

ABOUT THE SEMINAR:
The seminar brings together a panel of local and international speakers who are renowned practitioners in this area. Together they will cover topics on the assessment and identification of the disorders, available professional treatment and the empowerment of parents and caregivers in a specially crafted half day seminar.

DETAILS OF SEMINAR:
Title : Making sense of another piece of the puzzle: Updates on High Functioning Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome
Date : 20th DECEMBER 2008 (Saturday)
Time : 8.30am-1pm
Venue : UKM KL Branch, Jalan Raja Muda Abdul Aziz
Fees : RM30nett per person (fee includes tea break)

TOPICS:
FOR SPEAKER PROFILES PLEASE GO TO:

http://www.nilai.edu.my/Autism_Seminar/Autism.htm

1. Assessment, Diagnosis and Associated Difficulties by Clinical Assoc. Prof. Dr. Zasmani Shafiee
Consultant Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist, Gleneagles Medical Centre Penang

2. Cognitive Behaviour Therary by Ms. Winnie Lau
Clinical Psychologist, Minds and Hearts, Brisbane, Australia

3. Parent Empowerment by Dr. Alvin Ng Lai Oon
Clinical Psychologist, Faculty of Allied Health Sciences, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia

To register, please call my colleague - Ms. Shoba at 06-8502338 ext 298

or email seminardec20@nilai.edu.my

Scream-free Parenting - Possible?

I was at home yesterday - feeling very ill after having spent a really long day up until the wee hours of the Tuesday morning, sorting out my Office Baby - the Nilai UC's prospectus 2009. Every year I live and die doing the Prospectus. Sigh.

Anyways, I got home at about 3.15am and by the time I crawled into bed, it was 3.30am. My kids had not seen me at all prior to going to bed that night - they would have missed me and asked their papa where I was before going to bed. I was feeling really ill - so I popped 2 panadols, took some flu meds and went to bed with my very bad sore throat. I didnt even kiss my children good night that night for fear of waking them up plus I didnt want my germs to spread to them.

In the morning yesterday, I had already known I was not gonna do a show up at work yesterday and thank God, Aileen agreed that I took the day off to rest too. I got up yesterday morning to a heavily-coughing Zarif and realised that during my absence (from Monday morning til night) - that lil-bit-of-cough that he had over the weekend had developed into one loud, nasty and chesty cough. Instantly I knew that he needed to go the hospital, to be neubolized. A little onset of cough, if not taken care of, can make him asthmatic. And so, despite me being exhausted from having very little sleep, I got up at 7.30am and decided to go see the dr myself and since I was going there - might as well bring my Zarif to see the Dr too.

I had not planned of keeping Nina with me yesterday coz of my situation. I actually thought of sending her to the babysitter's place and managing Zarif alone, wont be all too bad, I guess. But my Nina's all grown-up now too, and is now able to know when I'm heading to work and when not. (All in mommy's attire). So when she realised I was just dressed in jeans and a tee - she knew I was not headed for work and insisted that she stay with Mommy and not Ibu (the babysitter). So I had to jaga 2.

So there I was, having to lug 2 kids to the dr's. (Not easy, I tell you. Not with Zarif's tendency to just run off whenever he pleases and Nina's 'Nak Turun, Nak Turun' from your grip.) And yes, as per what I had suspected - he needed to be neubolized. So we were in the ER - they got Zarif neubolized and I myself also got the necessary meds and an mc from the dr.

Went home - took the dr's meds and then decided that I shall just turn on some cartoon DVDs and let the kids watch tv, hopefully they'll entertain themselves whilst I catch up on my much needed rest. But I found out that I didnt really like who I was yesterday. I found myself being irritable - irritated with the noise that they were making, the arguments that they kept getting themselves into, the Yesses Zarif would say and the Nos that Nina would say in respond to him. I just felt awful, tired, miserable and irritable to the max. To top it off, the kids refused to nap - not even for the shortest time. They would rather play, play and play.

And so it was then that I found myself SCREAMING at them all the time. At every single Mommy.. at every single need. At times, I could see it was also much to their horror and surprise. Zarif would tell me he needed to go poo or pee, and would not do so unless I myself pull his pants down - when all this while whenever he had to go to the toilet, he was able to do so on his own. Nina would decide to spill water on the table and splash her dolls in that puddle of water. They'd take turns to whine, and take turns to say that they wanted milk or this or that. It seemed that I was screaming everytime and had very little patience with them yesterday - so much so, that Zarif had paused and asked - "Kenapa Mommy asyik jerit-jerit? Sakit telinga Abang.."

Then I felt that pang of guilt. I felt so bad - I know they had not seen me the night before and they were of course just trying to catch up lost time with Mommy. I pulak was feeling so awful that I was in such a bad state and even in this state, had to tend to every whim and fancy that they had and tolerate them. It certainly was not a good day yesterday and I found myself by the end of yesterday - apologising over and over to my children for not having control of myself and over my children. All in all, I felt shitty.

I still feel shitty today thinking about the times that I screamt to them yesterday. I only have 2 children and yet am not able to exercise control fully over them without screaming. I truly wonder how is it that mothers who have so many children can mind theirs so well and with very little screaming.

There should be a guide or manual of some sort that comes with Having Children. I guess tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow Mommy's gonna be a better Mommy. To my children, Sorry Anak-anakku Sayang. Mommy wants you to know that Mommy loves you more than anything else in this world. I promise tomorrow Mommy's gonna be a better Mommy.

Abang's Blog

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Guitar Classes at Guitar Legend

I finally made that move. And went to the Guitar Gallery in Bangi's Section 15 yesterday with my little one - Zarif. I have been eyeing this Gallery for the longest time. Apparently this Guitar Gallery has its HQ in KL's Jalan Ampang. and is quite famous for its range of guitars - new, used, vintage etc. I finally went upstairs to the store yesterday - and was quite sheepish to find myself in the company of 4 other teenage men and a young lady. All of them looked at me and my 4-year-old boy, eager to know what we were doing there.

Then Zarif said it - "Abang nak main guitar and drums." Much to the awe and smiles of these men and that lady. :) Now, that said it all. So I asked if they offered guitar lessons for little ones. - Refering to Zarif specifically. Drums, no - they said coz he's still small and his legs cant even reach the floor, but they said yes for the guitar lesson, but I needed to purchase a small guitar for him. That costs about RM180 and they will need to order 1, upon my confirmation.

Lessons is once a week, half an hour per lesson - any day or time (quite flexible) and the lessons about 2 hours a month will cost RM80. Registration is RM20, but a deposit of the first month's lesson and last month's lesson is required, making it a initial total of RM180.

Zarif seems keen, and since he didnt enjoy himself at Yamaha's Junior Music Classes - I thought I'd pursue what he is interested in. I thought the staff at Guitar Gallery seemed quite cool too. I think my son's on the way to be an awesome young individual. What do you think? Should I start him on these guitar classes?

Oh, and I noticed they had vocal classes too - maybe I should enrol my Nina once she's up for it. Hehe. Either that, or Mommy herself will go. Hahah.

Zarif's and Faris's 1st Kindy Concert

Yesterday was Zarif's and Faris's 1st ever kindy concert. Mind you, it was the Kindy (Tadika Ixora)'s 24th Annual Concert *see how long this kindy's been around*. We were excited. We had seen some sneak previews of their moves previously and we knew it was a dance number. Just that no clue what kinda dance number it was... until we saw the invitation from the kindy earlier in the week last week.. It stated - Pom pom dance by the Nursery Group. Ahh.. *Kinda makes your heart melt, doesnt it?* Hehe.

Anyway - I had gotten Zarif ready in his CARS attire, which was provided by the Kindy - (it was a red short sleeved shirt, with an inner white sleeveless lil tee and jeans - with Lightning McQueen's pix all over it), right after we came back from having brekkie outside and right after feeding him lunch and sent him to Esset in Sg Tangkas by 2pm as requested by the Kindy management. He was, needless to say - very excited! I was too. My lil boy was so excited, he even told me to just drop him off at the lobby area. I'm like noo.. I'm gonna send you into the hall ok? Heheh..

Show didnt start until 3.30pm, so I had time to just drop him off with his teachers and then go back to get ready. I noticed that it was a nice venue to hold the concert. Dewan Esset. At 3.30pm, I met my younger sisters there - Lisa and Didi were there already when we arrived and my parents also came to see their grandchildren's performance, and arrived just in time for Zarif's and Faris's show.

I remembered when the curtains were drawn back for the first welcoming performance by the Pre-School group, I could feel this overwhelming wave of emotion just going thru me. I could have just cried right there and then. I was elated yet very emotional to see the children's performances. I kept clapping my hands together so hard - applauding them for their wonderful hard work that I noticed some of the other parents kept looking back to see who was it who was clapping.. My goodness - I felt so good, it almost made me cry.

Anyways then it was the boy's performance - I stood up from where I was seated to get a better view. I saw that Faris was right in the centre and that Zarif was at the 2nd row furthest to the right. And they had lil pom poms in their hands. Ahhhh.. So sweet lar.

And they were dancing to "When the Saints come marching in".. Ahh.. bliss. I dont have pictures with me today for me to upload unto my blog - but we video recorded it. Let me figure out how to upload that and then you'd be able to see his show.. *For the senior/pro bloggers - can do ah such things? Uploading videos? If so, how?*

Haiyo my goodness - I was sooooo lah happy to see Zarif's performance. My eyes were just glued unto him. Nevermind Faris, *I barely looked at him - haha, evil aunty* But Zarif did his thing, just like a pro. He was just so into it - at times, he didnt really move in sync with the rest! Haha. But it was ok. I truly enjoyed his performance. *Hmm, wonder where he got all his talent from. Haha*

All in all - it was good. So much so, that we forgot about his school bag thereafter. I only realised that we left it at Esset last night at 11pm. I am just hoping that his principal would have taken it back with her to the kindy. So I will probably go and take it from her maybe tomorrow or something.

Anyways, my lil Zarif will be joining the Pre-Schoolers next year. So I guess we can expect more performances from him next year. My lil boy is turning into a young man - and so fast too..

Say Hello to Emran Muhaimin

Hello World. This is me, Emran Muhaimin. I thought I'd grace my Mak Long's blogpage today. :)

I was delivered last week at the Hospital Pakar Annur Bandar Baru Bangi via normal delivery, thanks to the patience and assistance from my mother's gynaecologist - Dr Fatimah Mustafa and was also pleased to see my family's Paediatrician, Dr Arbaiyah there too. I was born, after 39 weeks gestation on a Thursday, the 6th November 2008 - in the wee hours of the morning at 1.05am, tipped the weighing scale at 2.65kg and was 50cm long at birth.

My mom complained of some leaking and staining the day before i.e. the Wednesday 5th November 2008 and she was admitted at about 9am with only 1cm opening. I almost wanted to make an appearance via caesarean op, but thank god the door dilated fully at 12.50am and I finally found my way out at 1.05am.

I was exhausted at birth and had also passed meconium which caused my mom's gynae and my paed to be worried sick about my condition. My mom was also a diagnosed GBS carrier, which could put me at risk too - which caused them to worry even more about me.

I barely cried at birth due to my exhaustion, but after a minute of spanking, made my first cry. I had to be in the incubator the first few hours of my life. I would like to applaud my Mama, Sofia for a job well done during labour and on being a first time mother. I love you Mama.

I would also like to thank my Ayah - Ikram for staying put next to my mom, holding her hand and reassuring her everything was gonna be alright. Thank you also to both my grandparents (both sides) and to all my uncles, aunties and cousins who came by to visit my Mama when I was still in my Mama's tum tums and praying for a safe delivery of me.

I am doing alright. I was in the incubator day 1 in the hospital, was without it day 2 in the hospital, turned a bit jaundice day 3 and returned home day 4. I just had my 1st check up at the paed's yesterday and she's quite pleased with my progress.

I have also been told I am a very well behaved and good baby. I cry only when necessary - that is when I am hungry. I have a really cute cry, that makes people smile for some reason. I cant do much nowadays. I just would prefer to sleep and feel cosy all wrapped up with my nice warm blanket.

Thank you Mak Long for allowing me to post this blog today. Oh and before I forget, I would like to thank everybody for the lovely baby gifts and duit raya and to Mak Long, for giving me my first ever toy.

Do come and visit my mom and me when you can. At the moment, we're doing just fine adjusting to each other. And I am growing to be one healthy and cute baby. I love you all loads.

Fooking leave me alone..

Last Thursday, the 6th November 2008, my younger sister, Sofia finally gave birth to her baby boy - after carrying him for 39 weeks. So I decided to meet up with my hubby after work at the hospital - Hospital Pakar AnNur Bandar Baru Bangi - to pay Sofia and her baby a little visit, after I had also gone to fetch the children (my son, Zarif and my daughter Nina, as well as Faris, my nephew) from the babysitter's.

We went, got there about 7pm. Also met my Mom there and all was ok. Baby was doing ok - still in the Intensive Nursery, but doing ok. Sofia was recovering well too. We spent a good half an hour there and then decided that we should let mommy and baby rest and head straight for home.

As we were going down to the lobby of the hospital, I told my Mom that she needed to follow me to my car to take Faris's school bag. She said she will follow us down in a while as she wanted to have some mother to daughter talk with Sofia. It was drizzling outside. So then hubby sent my kids to the car first whilst I went to go grab Faris's schoolbag to pass to my Mom. Since it was drizzling, I waited for my mom under these lil gazebos, just outside the hospital. Whilst I waited there, I noticed a man - not that much older than myself - just sitting there doing nothing, in the dark.

I know he was watching. Then I spotted my mom and Faris, and signalled them to come to the gazebo. This man was still watching us. I could see he took turns to look at my mother and myself and our little family. As I handed over the schoolbag to my mom, he then stood up and turned to look at me, and passed me this little folded brochure.

His only words - Nah, ambik ni. This is for you. . Semoga Allah memberkati Puan dan keluarga Puan.

I thought that was very thoughtful. He didnt hand anything to my mom. Only to me.

My mom said thank you too and we left.

I didnt open the brochure immediately as I had to drive home with the kids in the car and it was dark. But when we stopped at a traffic light - I was intrigued by what was in this brochure. When I opened it - my jaw dropped.

The contents were as attached:

I was speechless and flabbergasted. I just remembered saying - My God. This guy.. only to have my Zarif asking - Kenapa, Mommy?

Yes, I am a Muslim woman and I know I am not the ideal Muslim woman. I dont cover my head, I dont wear the tudung and yes I know, when I walk - I walk and I look straight with my chest out (but I dont go shoving my boobs into people's faces...) So to have someone just pass something like this to you right smack in your face was something I, needless to say, would have expected the least.

Yes, I have also toyed with the idea of wearing tudung. But I feel you dont have to do it, if you're not ready. If my family accepts me for who I am, (my hubby doesnt mind me not covering up)why should you - a stranger - have a problem with me? Why do they have to print these lil flyers and pass it to the 'uncovered' Muslim women, and make them feel so shitty and guilty for not being the ideal Muslim woman?

I dont go stepping on no one's toes. So, NO - Don't come stepping on mine. To that stranger - if I ever see you under that gazebo again with lil flyers in your hand, I will not hesitate to come give you my two cents worth.